


tell me the truth, i'll heal

by asafeplace



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Established Relationship, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Steve Rogers, M/M, One Shot, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Captain America: The First Avenger, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 02:31:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14906654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asafeplace/pseuds/asafeplace
Summary: Bucky's worried about how quickly Steve dives into missions. So, one afternoon, Bucky decides to confront Steve about his lack of concern for his body.(Title from Bud by Fenne Lily)





	tell me the truth, i'll heal

Sometimes Bucky wished that Steve was still small. It’s not what you think—he didn’t want to be faster or stronger than Steve, nor did he want Steve to be dependent on him. In fact, Bucky was beyond grateful for the serum and all the good it had done for Steve, from healing his asthma, to straightening out his scoliosis, to curing his colour-blindness. It had never brought Bucky any joy to see his Steve crippled. But still, sometimes he wished serum didn’t exist.

Steve used to be careful. That’s not to say he wasn’t a scrappy little punk—no, he came home every night with bleeding knuckles and bruised cheekbones, but at least then, he knew his limits. Steve would moan about not needing any help ‘til the cows came home, but at the end of it all, he’d let Bucky wash his hands off in cold water and wrap them in strips of cloth. At the end of it all, Steve would (eventually) oblige when Bucky forced him to stay on bed rest. He’d agree to take a day off and let himself heal.

But that was before the serum.

It wasn’t that Steve thought he was invincible. That’s about as far from the truth as you can get. Invincible makes it sound like Steve believes he’s above it all, acting as an immortal god. But Steve knew he could be hurt. He knew his skin could bleed, his bones could break, and his lungs could give out. He just didn’t care.

And that’s what scared Bucky the most.

* * *

“Captain Rogers, you are almost done here,” the doctor said, glancing over her forms once more before resting the clipboard against her chest. “Your vitals are fine—you still run a little hot, but that’s normal for you, right?”  
Steve nodded.

“Then I’m afraid there’s not much more my team and I can do for you. You have six broken ribs and multiple bullet and stab wounds, all of which will heal in time. Usually, I’d offer the patient painkillers for the healing process, but because of your metabolism . . .well, you know the rest. Just sign here and here, and you’ll be free to leave.”

She offered Steve a pen, and within minutes, Steve and Bucky were walking back to their floor.

“Can you wait for me in the living room, Steve? I want to talk about something,” Bucky said gently. He tried to keep his tone neutral; Steve didn’t need any more drama in his life, that was for sure.

“Sure, Buck.”

Bucky entered the living room a few moments later, carrying two steaming cups of tea.

“Here.” He handed Steve a mug.

“What’s all this about, Bucky? There’s nothing wrong, is there?”

Bucky sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Actually, there is. I’m. . . I’m—” There was no easy way to say this. “I’m really worried about you, Stevie.”

Steve slid up along the couch, reaching out to grab Bucky’s hands. “I’m fine, Bucky.” He leaned forward, trying to catch his partner’s downcast eyes. “Sure, I took a couple of hits today, but you were there with the doctor. You heard her, same as me. I’m _fine.”_

“You’re right. I hear her. I heard her say that you had six broken ribs and multiple— _multiple—_ bullet and stab wounds. I mean, six ribs, Steve! I know you heal fast, but Christ, six _fucking_ ribs!”

Steve held his calm. He knew Bucky could be a bit overprotective at times. “Come one, you know that’s not too bad. There’s at least one mission a month that gets me hurt worse,” he joked.

Bucky stopped moving: his anger seemed to shrivel away like snakeskin. “And that’s the problem.”

Steve’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“I know, and first, I want to say that I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so worked up earlier.” Bucky offered him a wan smile. “You throw yourself in front of every bullet, Steve. You wouldn’t hesitate to jump off of a six-hundred-foot building if it was necessary to win the battle. I’ve watched you take hit after hit for the sake of the team. And—” he continued over Steve’s protests, “And I’m not going to ask you to stop doing that. It’s a part of who you are, and honestly, I don’t think I could stop you if I tried.

“But I want you to do something else for me, Stevie. I want you to let yourself _heal.”_

“I do, Buck. But you said it yourself—I heal quick.”

 “That’s not what I mean. It’s hard to explain, but—” He wracked his brain for an idea. “Here. Let me ask you something. When’s you next mission?”

Steve frowned. “Well, today’s Tuesday, and the next mission is in two days, on Thursday. Haven’t you received the schedule? I know they can’t reveal the details, but I’d hoped they would at least let you see the dates.”

“I didn’t ask you because I didn’t know. I asked to prove a point. Two days, Stevie. _Two_ days. That’s how long you get before you go out and get shot at again.”

“Buck _, someone’s_ gotta do it, and other agents can’t bounce back the way I can.”

“I know, I know, but Steve, I have essentially the same serum as you, and I _know_ two days is not enough to be back in the field.”

“It is for me.”

Bucky took a deep breath. “I’ve known you since before I can remember. I know how you move when you’re happy, I know how you move when you’re angry, and I know how you move when you’re sad.” He paused and placed his hand upon his partner’s cheek. Bucky looked directly into his eyes. “Steve, we sleep in the same bed, and I know how you move when you’re in pain. And Stevie, baby, you’re _in pain.”_

Steve turned away, avoiding his gaze.

“I can feel you clenching and releasing your toes when we get into bed. I can feel the stillness radiating off of you as you lay motionless for hours. When you finally _do_ fall asleep, I notice how you won’t move the arm or the leg that got injured. And the way that you breathe after you break your ribs—shallow, little breaths. You sleep with your eyes squeezed shut, curled in on yourself.

“Steve, I’m not saying you can’t handle it, I’m just saying that maybe you’re pushing yourself a little too hard.”

Bucky rubbed his thumb across the back of Steve’s hand. He didn’t speak; he wanted to let Steve process what he had just said.

After several minutes of silence, Steve shifted toward him. “It’s just a bit of pain, Buck, it’s just a little bit of pain. And, it doesn’t matter anyway because the doctor said it’s normal. I’m fine, I swear—”

“Just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”

Steve’s voice wavered when he spoke. “If I don’t do it, then who will? There’s _no one else._ I _have to.”_ Between his pleading words, it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself rather than Bucky. “Sure, it hurts,” he said in desperation. “Of course it hurts! I’m breaking my ribs, for Christ’s sake. But I’ll _heal,_ and at the end of the day, that’s really all that’s important.”

“Oh sweetheart, come here,” Bucky said with outstretched arms.

Steve limped across the couch and all but collapsed into his partner’s arms. Bucky, mindful of Steve’s injuries, wrapped him in a deep embrace. His back was pressed against Bucky’s chest, and his head had fallen back onto Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky rocked them gently from side to side, swaying Steve with the rhythm of his breathing.

He pressed a kiss to the skin below Steve’s jaw. “You know that there is nothing that I would not do for you, right?”

Steve nodded, eyes still closed.

“But sometimes, there are things that I can’t do for you. Sometimes, it doesn’t really work if you don’t do it yourself.” Bucky paused his rocking. “You need to tell Fury to push the mission.”

“I _can’t_ , Buck. It’s too late.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“I know,” Steve mumbled.

“So, you’ll ask for a little more time?”

“I’ll think about it.”

Bucky nuzzled the top of Steve’s head, leaning into his warmth. “How about we draw you a nice, hot bath filled with Epsom salts and those essential oils you like, hmm?”

Steve moaned at the suggestion.

“Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Bucky eased Steve off of him and carried him to the bathroom bridal style. And the rest of the evening was spent blowing bubbles in the bathwater and carding fingers through Steve’s hair.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing fan fiction ever. I know the ending's a little rough, but hopefully the rest is okay. [Prompt that I used](https://prompt-bank.tumblr.com/post/169225055248/otp-drabble-challenge)
> 
> PS: I would actually kill for a comment or kudos. I live for that shit.


End file.
